Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
