Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize