God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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