drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
