You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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