A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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