Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
