My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
