I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
