Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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