Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize