did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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