He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
