Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How external is "for external use only"?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
