im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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