Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
