You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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