when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
