i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
