you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize