pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
