Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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