I can't watch pbs sober anymore
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
