If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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