Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
