As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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