I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
