Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
