i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
