Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize