i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize