I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
