woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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