she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
