Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize