Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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