i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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