I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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