i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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