oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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