Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Come see our sink grown plant.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
