Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
