Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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