butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We're facebook friends in real life
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
