I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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