its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
