i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
