This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
