What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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