'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
