Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
