what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
