I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
