Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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