By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
