Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
