meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
