you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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