discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
