I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize