No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
