omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize