reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
