The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
