he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
