C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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