I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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