it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
