I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
