i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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